Hey let’s face it, trying to build a real relationship is hard work and takes dedication. In the 2016 era, it’s even harder because people call it quits before a problem is fixed. It’s not like the old days anymore where people are together for 20+ years. The idea of having a solid relationship is easier to imagine than having to actually work for it. I hope you read this entire post about what it takes to have a successful relationship. These are ingredients that both people need to have in order for the relationship to work. Relationships are not 50/50. If they were then that would mean that each person would be giving only half of them. You should give your all to your partner. I’m not saying that nothing else should matter but if you really love them then you should give them 100% effort. Relationships should be 100/100 and nothing less.
Ingredients to Have a Great a Relationship
- Trust – No matter what you experienced in your last relationship, your new relationship should start off with a clean slate. Everyone is not out to hurt you. You should treat your partner as if they are innocent until proven guilty and not guilty until proven innocent. Remember, if you don’t have trust then you don’t have anything to begin with. If your partner has given you a reason not to trust them then you have a decision to make. You either need to leave because you can’t move passed it, or stay and move forward without the constant reminder. Remember, you chose to stay.
- Understanding – A lot of us get into relationships with people without having an important conversation first. Both of you should be on the same page and have the same goal. You can’t trick a person into being with you. That goes for men and women. If a person lets you know what they are not looking in the beginning, believe them. Find out what they want in the beginning. If they lie to you, you will find out. They will let you know through their actions. After you guys get through the “talking” stage then you should find out how they feel about kids and marriage. Why? Because you need to know if they want the same thing you want. After a certain age, you need to be passed the “netflix and chill” stage. Are you guys working towards a life together? Getting married? Having kids? Buying property? Traveling the world? Building a business? At the end of the day, are you guys wasting time. Also, you need to get an understanding of who you are dealing with. It’s easy to get wrapped up in who a person could be. It’s easy to see the potential in someone but you have to think of the reality of who they are right now.
- Support – This element is actually one of the key components to making someone fall in love with you. A lot of people get “lost in the sauce” and only point out their partner’s flaws and weaknesses. Have you ever witnessed someone nag to their partner about what they aren’t doing enough of? Or, are you that person (I hope not…)? Showing support is vital. However, support goes way passed financial. You need to be there for your mate emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially. A person is looking for a person that can take their mind off of everything negative in their life, not add to it. Be their backbone and support system. Be their #1 fan. If they want to chase their dreams and become a street performer then you need to be there and figure out how they can take their dream and idea to the next level. Nobody wants someone who downs them all of the time. Support them, even when their ideas are stupid.
- Love – This should go without saying but hey, not everyone gets it. You need to love your boo like no one else has loved them before. If you’re thinking, “I don’t know how” then they aren’t the one for you. Someone who you truly love will make you love them effortlessly. Everything about them will be beautiful.
- Attention – Nobody is ever that busy. It’s about what’s a priority to you. Your lover needs time and affection. I’m not saying that you need to spend all day and night with them but some time to let them know that you’re worthy of their time is nice. If you can’t see them, text them or call them to let them know you’re thinking about them. There are 24 hours in a day. Even if it’s a quick stop by after work for a hug, do it. Let them know that they are important to you. At the end of the day, they are the ones who will be with you to the end, possibly. Treat them like they matter.
- Respect – Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want them doing. If you truly care about them then act like it. Don’t do anything that will put your relationship in jeopardy for a quick ounce of pleasure. I know that sounds simple but it is. No matter if you are a man or a woman: don’t put your hands on them, don’t belittle them, don’t cheat on them, don’t make them feel like they are less than, don’t run your mouth about them when you’re angry, etc. It’s really that simple.
How to Make a Relationship Last
Treat your partner how you want to be treated and the sky is the limit. If your partner doesn’t treat you the same then you should consider going a different route. Everyone should be happy but it takes two to tango.
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