It’s safe to say that your ex isn’t really feeling you right now. However, I will tell you that all love isn’t lost. It’s buried. Even if your ex hates you, there is love somewhere deep inside them whether they will admit it or not. If they still get mad at your past actions, then they still care. So, you want to know how to get back with your ex? It won’t be like eating pie or riding a bicycle but unless you have burned them alive then I think you still have a chance. But, how bad do you want your ex back? Ask yourself. On a scale of 1-10, how bad to you want them? Can you see yourself without them? No? Read this article until the very end so you can get the full understanding of how to get them back.
How to Get Back With Your Ex
Step 1: Face the problems. Think about what went wrong. Did little stuff keep happening and it kept getting brushed under the rug? Think long and hard. When did it start to become rocky? Own your part in it. It’s very rare that one person didn’t do anything at all. Maybe you pushed them away? Were you working too much? What caused the break up? You can’t be in denial about this. Addressing the problems will only help you and your relationship.
Step 2: Apologize to them. You may be thinking, “but I did already?” There is a wrong way and right way to apologize for your part. If you have already blew up their phone trying to apologize by begging and pleading then you need to wait some time and reach out again.
Depending on how bad the last you communicated with them was, wait 15-30 days before reaching out again. That means no communication at all (unless you have children) then that means you have to communicate regardless. But, keep it short and to the point. Don’t bring up the break up unless they do it first. Your apology needs to be sincere. It can go a little like this:
I’ve been thinking about what happened and I wanted to let you know that I agree with your decision. You’re right. You didn’t deserve any of it. I should’ve taken a step back and looked at it from your point of view a long time ago. I think the break up was the best for the both of us. I wish you the best. I hope one day we can be friends.
Step 3: Get Them to See You Differently. There’s two steps to this. You need to get them to see that you changed mentally and physically. Physically isn’t the hard part. You need to focus on the mental at first. You can’t get them to see you as a new person if you’re just going to return to doing the same stuff that you were doing before. Like I tell people all the time, “you need to get your mind right.”
If you have anger issues or trust issues, then you need to fix it ASAP before approaching them for a new start. I recommend that you read books on relationships and even becoming a better you. Getting them to see you differently appearance wise is the fun part.
If you dress “thuggish” or not so cute, you can try switching your style up. Get a new hair cut, part your hair different, try a new perfume or cologne. Have fun with it but don’t do anything drastic. You want them to say, “Wow” the next time they bump it into you.
If you have cheated, check out our article: How to Get Your Ex Back After Cheating