If you are a regular on my blog then you know I am an advocate for fixing relationships and helping people get their ex back. However, I won’t teach you how just to sell my book. My book is for people who want to fix their relationship with a quality person. But let’s get to the meat and potatoes of this post. Should you want your ex back? The fact that you are on this post says a lot. Deep down you know things aren’t perfect. Your subconscious is telling you something. You want me to give you a reason to go after your ex. You still have feelings for them but the two of you aren’t in a good place. In this post, I will give you 3 reasons why you shouldn’t get back with your ex and 3 reasons you should. It is up to you to make the final decision on whether you should give your relationship another chance.
Why You Shouldn’t Get Back With Your Ex
- They’re manipulative. I’ve seen so many situations that left someone scorned because their partner is manipulative. While you’re broken up, your ex could have you on an emotional rollercoaster and you’re not sure of what to do. If you are being manipulated, your ex is using tactics to control your thoughts and/or behavior. More than likely they are doing it on purpose to control you. They know you love them so they are doing and saying things to get you to be extra emotional and act how they want you to act. Manipulators control people by finessing their weaknesses. Manipulative people will make you feel bad for voicing your opinions, lie, exaggerate things, distort facts, make it seem as if their problems are bigger than yours, etc. When you’re being manipulated, you feel as if you can’t get anything right with them. It’s not you. They are controlling you to make you feel like you’re hard to love and incapable of making them happy. You need to realize what they’re doing. It’s not healthy to deal with a person like this.
- They don’t know what they really want. Does it feel like one minute they want you and then the next they don’t? You have nothing to do with their indecisiveness. Let them go figure out what they want on their own. The only one that will be hurt in this situation is you. You can’t be available every time they think they want you. You need a concrete answer. They need to know that they want you. They can’t be single and in a relationship at the same time. Let them know that you won’t accept the emotional rollercoaster that they are putting you through. You only get what you put up with. Let them know that you are open to discussing the future when they are 100% sure that they want a relationship with you. Otherwise, you are emotionally and mentally unavailable. It’s okay to be friends with them but don’t do anything or discuss anything that you wouldn’t with your real friend. For example, you wouldn’t have sex with your real friend, would you?
- They’re actions don’t match their words. Broken promises are the worst – so is telling you one thing but doing another. For example, if they are telling you that they want to be with you but they are with someone else then believe their actions, not their words. If they really wanted to be with you then they would be with you. Until they come back and cut off all ties with their current relationship then don’t believe them. Don’t get your hopes all high if they haven’t proven what they’re telling you. You need someone who means what they say.
Signs You Should Go After Your Ex and Fix Things
- Communication was the issue. I believe that 80% of relationships will go through miscommunication problems. Miscommunication issues can be fixed by talking and trying to understand each other. That is the first step to any disagreement. It’s not always about who’s right and who’s wrong. Please be aware that a relationship takes 100% effort from both parties. When discussing problems within the relationship, listen to understand – not listen to reply. There’s a difference. Communication problems can be fixed by communicating. If there wasn’t too much damage being done then the relationship can be fixed by talking everything out.
- They love you and you love them. Love is what makes the world go round. Sincere feelings are rare to find these days. If you have built a solid foundation with this person and it’s obvious that the both of you want each other back then you should go for it. Remember, you have to live for yourself and your happiness. Don’t let other people dictate what you should do and shouldn’t do with this person. You’re the only person that has to live with your decisions. If they love you and you love them then go for it.
- They are a good person but made one mistake. If they made one mistake, you are in the clear to not look stupid. Nobody is perfect. However, making the same mistake more than once is a decision. Did they make a mistake or did they make continuous decisions? If they deeply regret the mistake that they made and you still love them, it’s okay to give them another chance.
My Book: Getting Back the Relationship That You Always Wanted
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